Watched the season finale, mostly so I could stop avoiding spoilers. Kinda wish I hadn't bothered. In order to avoid a rant about how awful it was though, I've decided to write some scenes of what actually happened in the series finale.



THE Master: Stare deep into my mad eyes while I ramble, Doctor! And you know I must be mad because I'm still hitting on you when you're in this state! Did you hear me? Stare!
Dobby: Yes, Master The Master!
THE Master: *blinks* You're a house elf aren't you? It's a pity I read those books too late to incorporate giant snakes into my plan. I had the perfect song lined up on my ipod for it too.
Dobby: *nodding* Master The Master listens to great music. Dobby has been happy to listen. Oh, no. Master The Doctor said I was not to talk. Bad Dobby. Bad. *bangs head against cage*
THE Master: Where is the Doctor?!
Dobby: *cowers*
THE Master: Pretty please?
Dobby: Dobby is not sure, but he said something about him being old enough to play Dumbledore now...

Martha's Mum: I'm going to kill him.
Martha's Dad: Me too. The Master didn't even offer dental!
Martha's Mum: Not him. Russel T. Davies is at the top of my hit list, and I'm going to shoot him while he's wearing a maid's outfit for a change.

The Doctor (currently channelling GOD): You shall be so blinded by that fact that I'm pretty again you won't notice I've gone completely Gary Stu and I'm actually a hell of a lot more frightening than the Master at this point!
Jack: No worries about that. Your CGI is so bad we've all decided to start chanting 'Eddie Izzard' instead.

THE Master: So you want me to live with you in your TARDIS, settle down, have ten point gamma Time Lord babies, all the while keeping up the snarky banter and craziness? I knew I shouldn't have let you read all those romance novels in your tent this year.

Martha: *tears of laughter streaming down your face* Oh wow. That's so funny. Jack's going to lose his looks and be stuck as a face in a jar who gives you cryptic messages and dies surrounded by cat nuns.
The Doctor: *also laughing* Even funnier. There'll be MPREG. And who cares that Jack's immortality totally made me avoid him whereas I was quite fond of the Face of Boe. Let's get out of Cardiff before they make us guest star on Torchwood.